Never felt more like a mommy...

... like I did this past weekend.

Don't take me wrong. 
Ever since I got that first positive pregnancy test, I already started getting that mommy feeling I was always dreaming of.
*  Well, not always.  Maybe back in the day, when I was single and having a bit of fun, I wasn't dreaming about it that much *
But yes, once I found out I was baking my own little baby, it all started.
It's insane how much we already love a child we have not even met.
I remember even wanting to celebrate mother's day with a big ol belly :-)
I felt like a mommy since day 1.  Me and my Jojo had a special bond.
Every hiccup, every kick and every little movement, was a reminder of that.

After 28 months of being Jonathan's mommy and 5 months of being Julianna's, I thought I knew what being a mommy really felt like. 
U know, the usual mommy duties.  Changing diapers, cleaning after them, feeding, playing, teaching, putting on time out, answering to "momma" twelve thousand times a day, cleaning spit up, doing laundry, bathing, hugging, kissing, laughing with them..etc etc...
But one weekend, with two sick, VERY sick kids, changed it all.
And I have to add, Daddy was out of town.  So that made it even more intense.

So there I was, running from room to room in the middle of the night, trying to take care of both of my darling babies at the same time.
Jonathan would wake up crying and calling for me everytime he coughed.
And Julianna wanted to nurse all night.
Both temperatures kept going up.  I was scared.
What if they get so bad I have to take them to the hospital?
How in the world am I going to manage that all by myself?

It didn't get that bad, thank God.  I think the highest was 103.6.  Which was pretty scary for me. 

It was a long night.  Sometimes I slept in the guest bed with Jojo, then I would go to my bed to lay with Julianna and nurse her.  Then back to Jojo's.
I couldn't get them in the same room, because if Julianna went down, Jojo would cough and wake her up. 
And vice versa. 
The hardest thing was NOT that I was exhausted  beyond belief.  It was looking at them looking at me with their sad, tired loopy eyes and not being able to do anything!

It killed me.  It tore my heart into one trillion pieces.
I wanted to cry, but I think I was too tired to.
I just wanted them to go to sleep and feel better.
My poor babies! I have never seen such pitiful faces.
I hated every second of that night with a passion.
I couldn't sleep.  They couldn't sleep.
They would cry and I would just hold them tight, trying to comfort them as much as I could.

At 5 in the morning, I was laying in bed with Julianna.  We were both "asleep".  I think we had been sleeping for about 10 minutes until I heard a big "Bump".  I knew Jojo was up.  I jumped up extremely fast to run to his room before he could get to me and Julianna.  Too late.  We met in the middle, the Den.  I knew there was no way I could get him to lay down in his room, so I brought him into the big bed trying to keep him quiet.  Of course, that was impossible. Little sister woke up.
5:15.  Were were all sitting there watching Umizoomi. 
Great.
At this point I didn't care if I didn't get any sleep.  I didn't care I felt miserable, I just didn't want them to.

I wasn't sure how I was going to function during the day.  But most importantly, take care of them.
Interestingly enough, I had energy.
Also, my father and Carmen came over in the afternoon and brought some much needed supplies.

I had nothing for sick kids, besides the infant tylenol.
No Klennexes, No vaporizer, no benadryl...  I did have Vicks though and thermomethers! hehe!!

They brought lunch and spent a few hours here. Both babies napped.

I was happy about that.

At night, my friend Jamie came over to help as well.

She watched them while I showered.  Thank Lord I was able to.  I needed it.

After their baths, I was putting some alcoholado (bay rum) all over Jojo's legs, feet and chest.  (Not sure, but I think that is totally a puertorican thing) and it hit me!
I couldn't feel more proud of myself that day.  I dont know why, it's weird to explain. 
Maybe cause it brought back memories of when I was a kid and my mom would take care of me. 
Now I was doing the same with my own babies.
I felt like a MOMMY.  BIG TIME.
I felt like I was the most important person in the whole universe.  Their universe at least.  And they are the only ones that matter anyways.
I felt like my job was more important than president Obama's.
Who cares about the rest of the world right now?  My world are my babies and as long as they are taken care of, anything else doesn't matter as much.

I lathered both of their feet with Vicks, put their pj's on and turned my new vaporizer on.

I was almost done with the day and I did it! I survived! And with NO SLEEP! :-)

Jamie left. 
Jojo was watching cartoons (you guessed it right, Omizoomi again! obsessed little child!)  in bed and fell asleep pretty fast.
Julianna nursed for about an hour before I transfered her to her swing.
And that was it!

My babies were alseep. Thank you Lord!
Their fevers were contained. 
And I was able to go downstairs and have dinner.  Granted it was like 10pm, but I felt GREAT.

My little ones were on the road to recovery and I helped them!
Well, the medicines had a little to do with it.  But I was there for them 1001%. 
And will ALWAYS BE.

Even though Julianna didn't sleep much and Jojo was up a few times, the night was much much better than the one before.

Today, a day after, they are a little better.
They don't seem to be hurting as much.  And I even have had some smiles.
Poor Jojo's nose is like a little faucet.  His cough is BAD and he doesn't like to blow on the tissue, so that's a struggle.  But he is being his bratty self, and I love it.
Julianna is doing great.  Very little fever and a bit more clingy, if that is even possible.

We are waiting for Dad now.  He should be here in the next 2 hours.
And he needs to hurry.
Because I have a feeling he will too be acting as a nurse soon.
For me.
I am getting sick too.
Oh well, such is life.
Maybe I should call my own mommy to take care of ME! hehe!
Wait! She is far.  Boo!
I guess husband will do.  (even though we all know how men are as nurses...)

oh, ps! this is what alcoholado looks like, if u were curious!

A Perfect Souvenir

So.

3 days from now, I will be inside my car, with both babies in tow (sleeping hopefully), husband, dog, and a trailer full of very essential things, on my way down to South Florida.

Yes, WE ARE MOVING to FLORIDA, ladies and gentlemen!
Wait!!? are there even any guys that read my blog anyways? lol

Can you believe it?
I can and I can't.

About a year and a month ago, we were moving to South Carolina.
Something we wanted to do since before we got married.
We came here on a little vacation and decided this was the place we were going to raise our kids in.
(I mean, Jodi used to spend many summers here with his family and lived here for 3 years too, so he was already in love with it.  But I fell in love with it as well right away)
We still love it here, don't take me wrong.  It is a beautiful, friendly and very family oriented place to live.
But I have to say, I left a lot down in Florida.
I left my family.  I left some wonderful, wonderful friends.  Pollo Tropical, PF Changs, La Bamba, Lemon Grass... (and when you move somewhere that doesn't have a place that delivers sushi, these make a difference).
I left, my heart.

So yes, I am very excited to move back!
I will be even more excited once this whole move is over ;-P

I have been very quiet lately but my life is definitely not a quiet one.

Besides having the prettiest, most adorable, cute and happy little baby girl, I have been non stop.

Jodi has been busy trying to find a great job - and I have to say, God is great.
We have gone through many scary moments regarding his career and our finances, but everything always seems to fall into place.

I have had many many friends come visit me during these past few months. I am one lucky gal :-)
And in those visits, I had the pleasure of "hosting" the biggest sweet pea meetup thus far. 6 of us.
(Sweet Peas = friends I met online who all had the same due date as I did with Jonathan.  We have connected in such a way that it is impossible to describe and I can truly say, I love them.  I also have been able to meet some of them in person and spend some wonderful times with them)
It was a little challenging for me, I have to confess, having so many people, plus their kids, all here at once.  And I also have to confess, I did have a bit of a meltdown the last night, just because that's how I am. 
Sleep deprivation is a bitch! And being a clean freak, that also had to do with it a little bit.
Plus, I think it was just a little too much for me to handle, with the baby, and the upcoming move and Jodi leaving me on the weekdays for the next month.... u get the idea.

So I have been packing and being super mom.  Yes! I am calling myself super mom! ha! and I think I do deserve the title! At least for this one month.

I can't really remember the last time I was not in the middle of something. 
Like a move.
Or perhaps, having a baby!
Or planning some kind of party, or trip, or who knows...
Always something! hehe!

HA!
Seriously. There has not been ONE dull moment in my life in quite sometime.
And although it can be a little stressful at times, although it can challenge me in some ways that some people couldn't even imagine, although it can wear me out, I love it!
I have always been a project kinda girl!

And about moving.  My mother told me the other day something that made me laugh.
Ever since I was a little girl, I used to LOVE moving everything around the house that I could, around.  Sometimes when I was at home alone, I would rearrange all the furniture in the living room and surprise my mom.
And our bedroom, forget about it! haha! my older sister used to always fight with me because she could never "find her stuff."  (what guts huh?  I used to clean the whole room and make it look amazing and she would still pick a fight! lol)
But yes, I was seriously obsessed with it.  It was bad.
So apparently things haven't changed much in that department.  The only thing is that I am not only changing furniture, I am also changing the houses they go in. LOL

So fast forward to tonight again,  Saturday, September 25th. 
A few days past my 34th birthday.  Which by the way, was good.  I had caviar for the first time and I didn't spit it out! (granted it was not ONLY caviar, it was a mix of things that made it all taste yummy)
I am laying in bed, updating my blog (which I had been meaning to do for SO long) and watching all the good shows that recorded this week - premier week!  - and I didn't see because I am a good wife and I waited for Jodi to come home so we could watch them together.
A bit anxious because we have to do so much tommorrow and the next day and the next...

It's going to all seem like a dream.
This whole Charleston thing! This whole past year.
We will go back to Florida and look back and think, did that really happen?
Well, it did.
And we have a perfect little gift to show for it.  Our littlest, the prettiest and most special baby girl, Julianna Sophia.
Conceived the night we moved into this house.

Now we get to move back with an extra, cute little person.

We go back to where we met and fell in love, with a souvenir. 
A souvenir from South Carolina.
And a perfect one.

3 months

Today, my baby girl turns 3 months old.
It's bizarre how on one hand, it feels like I have known her forever.  Like she has been part of my life for my entire life.  How it has not only been 3 months, it has been my entire life of having her and loving her.  And on the other, it feels like it was yesterday when I looked into her eyes for the first time.  When I was holding her tight while laying on the hospital bed and staring down w a smile on my face as she slept.
She was so perfect back then... and she is even more perfect right now.

I am living my dream.  What I wanted, I have. 
Sometimes I feel like I have to pinch myself to see if this is real.  I have the cutest most adorable kids in the universe!  Did I really make those 2 little creatures? ;-)

These 3 months have been a bit crazy.
Amongst all my happiness as a new mom of 2, we have been very very stressed.
Jodi has been very busy (traveling quite often) trying to find a new job, as things with the company he has worked for have not gone the way he wanted them to.
I worry on a daily basis about our future and what is going to happen.
But we have to stay focused and positive that something will work out soon!!!
(and from what has been going on these past few days, things look good!!)
So yes, we have been going through a lot of stress, but one thing is for certain, I adore my family more and more and I thank God every day of my life for blessing me with so much!

My  little Julianna is something else!
(Jonathan too, but this post is dedicated to Julianna's 3 month "birthday")

She smiles SO MUCH. 
And she is pretty vocal. 
When u baby talk to her, she "talks" right back at you! And quite loud, I have to say.
I wonder who she is getting that from? (shh!)

She has discovered her hands and I just love that!  She looks at her cute little hands while grabbing her own little fingers.

She still is not a fan of car rides, but it's getting a little better. (not that I go out that much)

Her eyes, oh her eyes! I get lost in them.  They are mostly greyish. Sometimes they look like they are going to be blue, sometimes green...  who knows, they may turn out brown like mommy and daddy's.  But they are just so pretty!

She loves when mommy walks around doing the baby dance while she is falling asleep.  She stares at me like "ok mommy.  I am comfy now. I love you so much when you do this and I am going to fall asleep in your arms in a little bit.  Just let me enjoy it a little more..."

She is following Jojo with her eyes a lot now.  And from time to time, Jojo gets infront of her and starts being all funny and makes her smile.  He starts fake laughing when she smiles and I crack up with them both! 
I am smiling just thinking about that!

She is so soft. So little.  So tender and such a girly girl already!

I love her.

Happy 3 months of life, MY SWEET BABY PRINCESS!!!!

10 favorite things of mine...

I just love:

1.  When I am holding my baby girl in my arms while trying to rock her to sleep. We both stare at each other with so much love.  She is tired and her little eyes get heavier and heavier, but out of the blue, my little princess smiles at me. I melt.
And at that time, I thank God for giving me that moment.  A moment of pure joy, happiness and love.

2.  When I can hear Jonathan talking to himself through the baby monitor.  He counts to 10, he sings "quack quack here, quack quack here" and talks a lot of jiberish... I can't help but laugh.

3.  Watching "The Bachelorette" with Jodi.  I love that he watches it with me and we both chat about it like 2 bff's!  He is cute like that ;-)

4.  When I am nursing Julianna and it's quiet and all I can hear are her little "eating noises". Too cute! Makes me want to squeeze her.

5.  When I post something on facebook and I get tons of positive, nice and loving comments.  Makes me feel super special :-)

6.  When both my kids are sleeping at the same time.  Makes me feel like I have some control of this crazy little home I have ;-)

7.  When Jojo wants me, and only me! Most times he is just being dramatic, but I love it! He is still my baby too!

8.  Bathing Julianna! She loves it so much it  makes it really fun!  It's a smile fest! :-)
 
9.  Playing with Jojo - running, throwing ourselves in the floor, playing hide and seek, airplane, "cerdito" (ask me what that is if interested lol)...  He is such a little 2 year old boy with so much energy!  His laughter is the best sound in the world!

10.  Reading emails from my special cousin.  I am addicted to his messages now.  Makes me feel like I am reading a book.  And he is so funny - I forgot how funny he was until now that we communicate.



And I am going to stop right now!

It is 11:16 pm and I should be starting to fall asleep right about now.
I am yawning! 

Julianna woke up once while writing this short blog.
I fed her and now she is back asleep in her swing.  Such a cute baby! Seriously!

Jodi is fishing with Jared (and I am not sure if anyone else is there).
Jojo was so tired today - he didn't want to take his nap.  Me no likey when that happens.
Normally Jodi brings him upstairs to bathe him at 8:00 pm and then puts him down. But the poor thing was so tired, he was literally falling asleep while sitting up in Jodi's lap at 7!
That was funny!  I should have taken a picture! ha! 

I have many many other favorite things I can write about, but these 10 came up to my mind on this Friday night, as I sat in bed, using Jodi's laptop and watching 20/20 in the background.

Good night to me!

While my 2 babies are sleeping, I try to do as much as I can around the house and on my computer...
I kinda cleaned around here, answered a few emails, updated my facebook status, posted on the SP site, and now, a little time to update my blog! yey!
I may have 5 minutes, 10 or who knows, not even 1.
One of them, or both, may just wake up and demand 100% of my attention.
So I will do this quick! :-)

Jojo:

* Turned 2!  my big boy had a Thomas the Train themed birthday party last week. We had a BLAST! We had an inflatable pool, slip and slide, water balloons, water guns, water sprinklers, etc, outside for the kids to play with.  You can imagine.  Since it was short notice (I had said I wasnt gonna do anything until a week before, when I started feeling guilty and changed my mind) we didnt have that many kids over.  There were like 7 kids  (+ 2 that came over after that I really didnt know much). The most important people were here, and that was what is important!

* He climbed out of the crib 2 nights ago! ha!  Jodi decided to turn the volume down on the monitor and next thing you know, we heard and saw our bedroom door open.  We looked down, and there he was, smiling big, ready to jump in bed with us! too cute!
This morning, I ran into the room as soon as he started waking up and moving! I dont want him to remember his accomplishment and get used to the freedom. We shall C how it goes...

* He definitely got the memo that he turned 2.  Boy can he be cranky! He is so whiny!

*  Talking more and more :-)  It's so funny when he comes up with a word that I had no idea he already knew.


Julianna:

 *  Still a big cranky.  I still think it's between gases and fighting sleep.

*   Last 2 nights she has slept 5-6 hrs on her first strech!! yey for that!

*   She is SO strong! everyone is in shock on how strong and alert she is.  She is about to turn over! And she smiles and giggles so much already!

I am SO IN LOVE w my little girl!!!

Uh Oh! she is waking up!

There goes my post! haha

ah! she went back down ( i am looking and listening to the monitor right now)

Life with 2 is definitely an adventure.
I do have Jodi here everyday, so it's not as hard as if it would be all by myself.

Mom and Abuela are here. (They have been here since the 15th!!!)
She helps a lot and Jojo absolutely loves his LELA!
They play together SO MUCH!

Jojo doesnt really pay much attention to his baby sister.  But at times, I can tell that he gets a little bit jealous.  There have been a few instances, where he points to his sisters glider or pack and play and says "sit here" - meajning, put her in there and pay attention to me!
So cute!

AH!
She is now REALLY AWAKE!
I hope I can come back soon to post!

Gotta run!

My babies are so cute!

I love my babies

They are my world

My life

My everything

Here are a few captured moments of them together

One of the first times he was finally getting closer to her and not being all silly about it ;)

Cuddling in bed

Watching TV with Daddy

In bed again (Jojo getting into Mommy's wallet)

And my favorite picture of all times:

To my two little favorite people in the universe:

I love you more than life itself!

I will be here for you, protect you, love and adore you.

Forever!

Mommy, I didn't want to hurt you

It all started a week and a day ago, May 5th 2010.
And on May 6th, 2010 at 8:06 at night, I met my princess.
Julianna Sophia Shelton was born.

Wednesday, May 5th:

I normally got a lot of Braxton Hicks and contractions throughout the day, but this day, the contractions were just a little stronger and a lot more frequent.  I laid down in the afternoon for a nap and decided to time them.  Every 7 minutes, I would feel one.  Strong and consistent.  Wow! Could this mean that I will be having my baby girl soon?  Is this more of what my Dr. and everyone else has been referring to as practice labor?

My plan was always to just go with the flow. 
To live life, like my wonderful Doula had adviced me to.
So I did.
Woke up and even tried going for a walk.
I didn't get far.  I was in a bit of pain - more than usual.
We got back home and continued our "normal" lives.
I even remember that night asking Jodi if we could get a little "romantic" (thinking it may be what we needed to get the party started).  But forget it! HA!  As soon as he came upstairs and into our room, I said "Ugh! there is no way I can do anything tonight!  I can't even move! So, no whoppie for you!"
 Not that either of us was in the mood lately anyways...

I think I slept for about 40 minutes,  From a little past midnight to almost 1am.
One strong contraction must have woken me up and from there on,  It was ON!!!
At 2 am, I got my laptop out again and started timing them.
They were around 4-5 minutes apart, I guess.
Around 3am, I woke Jodi up.
A bit later, we called our parents and Adrienne, my Doula.
Jodi's parents hoped in their car. They would be arriving in about 5 hrs.
Mom, was buying her airplane ticket and Adrienne said she was going to get ready and head over.

Things seemed to be progressing.
4 minutes apart.
3.
2!  Contractions were 2 minutes apart! The lasted for about a minute to a minute and a half each.
(the 6 mins apart one was when I was talking on the phone again with my mom and forgot to click on it)

Holy Shit!   I am having my BABY!!!!!!!!!!!

I was in so much pain by then.  My belly seemed like it was going to BURST!  It was so hard.  I couldn't move much.  I stood up and walked in between them and tried to get my stuff ready, as I knew we were going to be heading to the hospital pretty soon.

At around 5am, Adrienne was here.
We were all downstairs.  Jodi made her coffee.  She heated a sock filled with rice and some stuff that smells like Roses.  And we went upstairs.

It wasn't easy being me, is all I can say.

I tried focusing my energy on my baby.  We had my relaxing music in the background. Candles. Tub filled with warm/hot water., you name it!

I remember breathing hard and trying to think that every contraction was bringing baby Julianna down.  I tried remembering all those encouraging words that everyone was giving me during these past few weeks...  The videos I had watched.  The wonderful messages from my VBAC support group.   I knew I had to go through this and "embrace" it as much as I could.
I knew this was WHAT I WANTED.

Adrienne's soft words and powerful messages kept me going.  She knew exactly what I needed to hear and how I needed to be touched and massaged.  She knew how to, in the midst of all the nerves, and pain and anxiety, make me feel like I was in a wonderful place.

At around 7am, MY WATER BROKE!!!

I couldn't believe it! I always wondered what that would feel like, since I never experienced labor with Jojo.  It wasn't a big gush, it was small to medium gushes of water here and there.  It was, and I know this may sound weird, but it was kinda cool.  To know that my body and my baby were getting ready.

An hour or 2 passed and things were getting pretty intense. I remember how at some points I would have contractions that would NOT stop.  As soon as one started to get less strong, another one started and I would go thru that intense pain over and over again, without any pauses in between.

When Adrienne stepped out of the room and yelled out "Jodi, we need to go to the hospital now!" (or something like that), I knew she knew that we had no time to waste.  Baby may be coming out sooner than we thought and we needed to get out of there!

We dropped Jojo off at Christian and Lisa's and headed to the hospital around 8 in the morning.

Took us about 20 minutes to get to the hospital, and let me tell you, that ride was insane.  I am hoping no one saw me huffing and puffing in there or they would have had a pretty funny sight.

When we got there, I couldn't even walk.  They sat me on a wheel chair (against my will, since I wanted to try to walk to my room) and took me to where I would labor for the next 11-12 hours.

I had a little bit of a struggle trying to voice out my wishes and birth plan to some nurses. They wanted to hook me up with IV and do the continuous monitoring, and all that hospital stuff they do all the time.  I didn't.  I wanted to do this with the least interventions POSSIBLE!!  So, there I laid, telling them what to do! lol

My Dr. arrived and finally I was checked.  I was 5-6 cm!  Kinda exciting, but NOT REALLY! I wanted more! 

9AM.  10AM.  11AM....

Everything was looking GREAT!  I went from 7cm to 8 to 9 pretty quickly.  At 1 PM, I was 9cm, 100% effaced and pretty ready to welcome my little girl. 
However, she had different plans.

Baby was still high up.  -2 station, is what the Drs and nurses kept saying, as they kept checking me.
Every contraction was stronger and it was getting harder and harder for me to stay calm.
I was breathing hard.  Humming.  Grunting.
I was starting to talk about getting that"damn" epidural (which, according to my birth plan, was the last thing I would ask for when I felt like dying).

At about 5PM, I think I reached my breaking point.  Nothing was happening.  My baby girl was NOT decending into my birth canal.  These painful and unbearable contractions were NOT helping at all. 
After talking to plenty of nurses (some of which were super nice and supportive of me wanting a VBAC), my Dr, amy Doula, the anesthesiologist and Jodi (who was going NUTS seeing me in so much pain), I opted to get the popular drug. ugh!  If I only knew that things would progress and I would be pushing her out, I would have lasted a lot longer and endured a lot more pain - but it really looked like change was not in the future.

According to everyone, the epidural would probably be helpful in my circumstance, since I was so so close.

I got a very low dose.  I could feel and even move my legs - and I liked that.
I was not in PAIN anymore, and I loved that.

ahhhhhhhhhh............  RELIEF!
And I was pretty loopy, since they also gave me some other drug that makes you feel like your drunk before administering the Epi.

I felt like I wanted to tell everyone I loved them in their face.  I was pretty high! lol

During the next few hours, me and my Doula worked on positioning my body differently..  I did both sides, on my hands and knees, sitting up straddling the bed and rocking....

6PM check - nothing.

Dr was starting to talk C-Section at this time and I broke down.  Tears were coming down my cheeks and I was just begging everyone to give me more time.  I wanted to wait as long as I could.  This is what I wanted all my life, to push my baby out myself and be the first one to hold her and kiss her and show her love.
I felt everyone's heart melting as they touched me and caressed me, but there was nothing anyone could do, except my baby Julianna.
I think at this point, everyone was routing for me, and at the same time, feeling so sorry because my chances were getting slimmer and slimmer.

A few minutes later, she suggested me trying to push and see if she would come down.  I had read about "purple pushing" and wasn't really keen on doing it - but at this point, we had no other options.  I would have rather pushed when my body would tell me to w/out any coaching or counting.  But whatever! Let's do it! 
So I PUSHED!!
(and now I look back and sort of love the fact that I even experienced THAT part of the whole process)

My mother in law held one foot, my doula, the other one.  Jodi stood right next to me, rubbing my forehead and I grabbed both my legs, raised my head, closed my eyes and waited for their orders.

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 breathe!
I pushed as hard and strong as I could ever imagine pushing.  I felt my face wanting to explode.  I did that three times, quietly and peacefully.


Then we tried it again, 3 more times.
Dr. kept saying how great of a pusher I was.  Ok, good! and?
and nothing! Baby still was high up.

Well, the clock was ticking.
I think I did a few more pushing here and there.


and THEN -  it came to a point when we ACTUALLY SET A TIME were if things remained status quo, we would have to "give up" and explore our other "option" (and GOD knows how I hate that word). It would be at 8 o'clock.


The one GREAT thing was that baby's heart beat was PERFECT.  Her and I were both SAFE during all this.  However, with my water breaking and me getting so many internal checks, everyone was a little worried about all the bacteria and me getting any infections.

I remember when I got checked around 7PM something changing in me.  I am not sure if it was because I was so tired and pretty drugged, but I was laying in bed with a big smile in my face and feeling extremely at peace.  Still kinda holding on to a little hope, but pretty content if it didnt go my way.

Everything happened so quickly after this.  They checked me one more time, just in case.  Nothing had happened. Oh! by this time, my first epidural had worn off and I was feeling the contactions a little bit and a LOT of pressure down there. 
Anesthesiologist (who was the nicest ever) came in, gave me the big drug and soon after, they were taking me to the OR.  I think daddy was just relieved that there was a plan now and in no time, he would be meeting his daughter.

I was just exhausted.  I wasn't sure anymore how I was going to be able to even open my eyes after the surgery to meet Julianna.  I couldn't even say a whole sentence.

There I was.  Laying in a different, harder bed, inside a very very very very cold room.  Looking at the clock, at the ugly lights right on top of me, at all the hospital "toys"... YUCK! Oh well.

And then, they started.

C-Section #2

Baby Julianna's Birth:

As you can see, she was a healthy girl!

She didn't cry immediately after, but when she did, it was soooooo cute!

Very soft and kinda raspy.

To me, very girly.

It was very very hard for me in there.  I had the shakes - BAD! I couldn't stay still. My hands, arms, mouth and even head, were shaking.  My mouth was dry.  I was so extremely exhausted.  I kept trying to say that I didn't know how I was going to hold her and kiss her.  I had no energy to even talk!

I had to stay in there very long.  They had to remove another very large cyst.  I am NOT posting the pics of it, but it looks like a little monster - with HAIR and everything! So bizarre!!!

Anyways, Miss baby girl J was healthy.  She pooped immediately after coming out and a few times while they cleaned her.  And I must say, during this whole week, she has not stopped! lol

(With Jojo, we went 10 days at home without chaning one poopie diaper)

To me, she looked SO MUCH like her big brother! I couldn't believe it!

And of course, that means she also looks like me - since the whole world, including myself, thinks Jojo looks just like his mommy! :-)

(Not sure if you noticed in one of the pics before, but she was also born with a cone head.  I guess from trying to push her out).

My Dr. came in after and had a little pep talk with me.

I guess we all agreed that this was the safest and best thing we could have ever done.

I CAN'T SAY I DIDN'T TRY.

From drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea, To taking (both ways) Evening Primrose Oil pills, to eating Eggplant  Parmessan, to walking every day (even in pain), to beggin Jodi for some whoopie, to bouncing on my yoga ball all day every day.....  And then, to labor for so long and even try to PUSH....  

I gave it MY BEST.

And that is why I feel ok with it.

I am not sad.

I DO NOT regret anything.

I wanted to experience labor - it's beauty.  The pains, the body changes, everything....

I honestly think NOW that my baby's size DID have to do with her not being born vaginally.

I know I read so many stories of big babies being born huge with no complications.

But now, I know God was there with me and he chose this path.

I think that it could have been a different outcome, one that may have not been that happy.

Who knows, baby's health.  Mommy's health. (besides the fact that I would have had to go in again for another surgery to remove that cyst later on)

It all could have been a different story.  Who knows what kind of damage could have been done down there...

(everyone kept saying how she would have destroyed my v jayjay and all those horror stories...)

I know Julianna didn't come down because she didn't want to hurt me... :-)

My recuperation WAS SO MUCH better this time around.  Don't take me wrong.  I did have a lot of pain (and still do here and there).  But I was standing on my own in no time.  I walked much sooner and was even able to shower.  (something I never had a chance to do while recovering from my first surgery).

The hospital STAFF could have not been any nicer.  I LOVED everyone there!

There were 17 babies in the nursery.  (the whole staff was in shock there were so many) and Julianna was the biggest one! ha!

The Lactation Consultants would come very very often to help  me with breastfeeding my baby princess.
And I can't thank them enough, because now, I have a breastfed ONLY baby!!! :-)
(something I didn't have either with Jojo.)
I love it I love it and I love it!

Here are some more pictures of our stay in the hospital:

Mom got these as little souveniers for our visitors and hospital staff.

JONATHAN MEETING HIS SISTER

(he wanted NOTHING to do with her)

(he actually seemed kinda scared of her)

Taking professional pics :-)

Flower Jojo was supposed to give to Julianna.

On Mother's DAY, we got to go home.
Good Bye, East Cooper Hospital.
Thank you everyone for your wishes, flowers, prayers, and support.
Special Thanks to our favorite nurse, Darlene.  Who we plan on inviting for dinner very soon.
Also, thank you Adrienne for being so supportive and being such a great Doula.  It meant the world to me to see you cry next to me during my surgery.  I know how connected we were during this whole process.
Thank you to my family and my husband for being there for me in person and in spirit.
And Thank You God for giving me my perfect, precious, healthy daughter.
I am COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH HER and can't let her go.
I love just holding her all day!  I cry so often by just staring at her. 
She is ABSOLUTE PERFECTION.

It was all in all, an amazing and beautiful experience that I would not trade for anything in the world.
Who knows what the future holds.... Maybe baby #3?
HA!
I am in lala land now and can't believe how easy this week has been for me.
No sleep at all, pain in the body and a lot of hormones having a party inside me.
BUT I LOVE IT! I love it all!
(and if you ask me now, I would have a bunch of more of these little peanuts!)

BEST MOTHER'S DAY EVER!!!!!