I should be sleeping

I am tired.
My eyes are hurting.
I am laying in bed with the lights off and the fan on high, making that sound that makes me sleepy, with the laptop on my lap, writting on my blog.

I should be sleeping.
Conserving energy.

Today was hard, yesterday too - tomorrow, probably a little bit harder.
So much work!

2 full days of unpacking box after box after box while trying to occupy my darling son all by myself in the new house.
Up and down stairs probably over 100 times.


I should be sleeping!!!!!

I probably wont make any sense right now - I am exhausted.
Maybe I AM sleeping.
Instead of sleep walking, sleepblogging.

Feels like it, anyways.


I am annoyed.

My dear husband should have been here right about now.
That would be a better reason to be up right now.
But noooo.... plans changed and we are NOT happy about this!
Him and Joel left today with all the furniture in a huge Uhaul truck at 3pm.
The plan = get here before midnight.

Then I get a call....
The Truck broke down in the middle of the highway!
Poor boys.
I am happy nothing happened to them.
I am also happy I WAS NOT in that truck!
I get scared with stuff like that!
Anyways
Mechanic came, he wasn't able to fix the problem!
grrr...

They went to a hotel, in which they r probably both symphonically snooring right about now.

Tomorrow morning, they mechanic comes back in hope to fix that stupid crappy piece of SHIT truck!
Sorry, I am grouchy!


If, and GOSH I HOPE THIS IS NOT THE CASE, the truck cannot be fixed, I assume they have to unload all of it and load it up to another piece of (ok I will refrain to use it twice) crap truck!

R U KIDDING ME??

That TRUCK better be fixed.
I want my stuff out of that truck, but NOT onto another one! I want it in our house!
WE will see tomorrow what happens.

Tonight I sleep in Alex's bed again.

Let's hope tomorrow I spend the first night in my new house, on our mattress, with my husband on my side.

That's all.

time to close the laptop and go to sleep!

7 dias (7 days)

As the minutes go by and I sit here in my home, I get more and more emotional about what is to happen in 7 days.

I have known for what? almost 3 months, that this was coming. But it feels like I just got the news.
Like my dear husband just came to me and told me to pack my things, that we were moving.
Like I have no time to say my goodbyes and see everyone I would like to see.
Like I am racing against the clock.

First, it is very important that you know that I AM happy about what is to come.
That I AM looking forward to my new life somewhere else.
To my new friends, my new home, my new everything.
I am scared, of course, it is something completely new and I have become quite a chicken when it comes to changes as I get older.
But I am optimistic. And deep inside, kind of excited about it all.

However, I DO have to admit one thing: these next few days are going to be "just a little" overwhelming for ME.

As I prepare for the move, my mind has been taking me to different chapters of my life.

As I fill up boxes and tape them close, I remember the day I drove down in the Uhaul truck from Wisconsin, eager to start my new life as a college graduate.

As I stack one on top of another, I remember a night when I went to Miami and partied inside a huuuuge party bus with a whole lot of strangers until early hours in the morning.

As I sit down to rest for a little bit, I remember the time I decided to buy myself a ticket to go to France to visit a friend I had met down here and got stuck in the airport over there for over 2 hours without finding him. I was not scared. I told myself, "oh well! If I don't see him, I will get a cab, stay in a hotel in Paris, go see the Eiffel Tower at least, get a cab back to the airport the next day, and go back home." Thankfully, he found me. I was in the wrong spot.

As I organize a few things in the drawers, I remember all the places I went out to dance. Cafe Iguana, back in the day... Vodoo Lounge, my second home... Opa, dancing on the tables. geezzz... dancing was my thing back in the day... NO alchohol needed. Just good music and a spot for me to dance all by myself on top of a little stage, a cage, anywhere...

As I go grab a water bottle, I remember all the places I had lived in. All my little boyfriends(cough). All the jobs I had. All the fun times. All the heartbreaks. But most important, all the friends I was able to make.

I AM sorry if I sound a little too sensitive, but to me, it IS a big deal.

I spent ONE THIRD of my life here and let me tell you, what an incredible journey it has been.
Hey! One third IS a LOT!

I came young, naive and ready to start a heck of an adventure.
I don't even think I knew what I wanted at that time.
But I was "unstoppable"!

That was in 1998, 11 years ago!

Now I look back, nod my head, sigh, close my eyes, and smile.

How can I NOT miss "my" Florida?

How can I not get emotional when reflecting about the life I have lived here for the past 11 years?

I am who I am, and where I am, because of the life I lived here, the people I met, the experiences I had....
(OH! you had something to do too, mom! ;-) xo)

and to close this chapter, or should I say book, makes me cry.

Here, I have grown.
I have felt sad, lonely, mad, angry, betrayed, scared...
I have been loved, admired, wanted, (or so I think :P) needed....
I have felt happiness that I only thought was possible in movies.
I have come to love like I have never have loved before.
I have made friends that are just like angels.
I have met an amazing man who I was lucky enough to marry and call my husband.
I have birthed a son who has made my life a fairytale.
I began to find myself.



In 7 days I leave.
I will jump in my car very early in the morning, with my husband, our baby and our dog.
I will sit next to Jodi as he drives and I just know, what I am feeling right now, will be nothing compared to what I will feel sitting there looking out the window, reflecting on everything and praying.

I will be wiping my tears and saying, bye bye Florida. I will miss you!

I will be sad to leave my father, sister and the rest of the family behind.
I will be sad to know I can't just jump in the car and go to a playdate with my mommy friends, who I have fallen in love with in so little time.
Or sad to not be able to see any of the tons of friends I made thru the years, that even if I don't see often, I do love and will miss just having them "close".
I will be sad to know I wont be able to tell Jodi that I am craving some Shrimp Scampi from La Bamba (yes! that is WHAT I LOVE to eat at that mexican restaurant! THEY are super good!)
and I will be sad to leave all the rude drivers behind!
HAHA! well, maybe not that!

I leave a piece of my heart here.

If you were part of my life here in Florida, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you for making me who I am now.
Thank you for teaching me something.
Thank you for being a part of this whole beautiful journey.
And thank you for still being part of my life to this day.



Last, thank you for reading this post.
My apologies if it came accross a little sad.
It is 12:55 am, I can't seem to sleep lately and I needed to release all these emotions.
Where else than in my diary/blog?


I am going to try to collect a few pictures - one of each year I lived in FL - and post a collage here of the 11 years that just went by.
Can't promise it, bc I am quite a busy lady these days, but I will try.

Going to bed now.
Will be waking up in a few hourse (whenever baby decides he is hungry) thinking, Oh my, 6 days now!

Good night!